mental health

  • 8 Healthy Ways to Cope with Mask-Wearing

    We all want to be healthy, protect our loved ones, and help stop the spread of COVID-19. But achieving this has required us to adopt numerous changes in our lives, many of which can feel quite restrictive such as following social distancing guidelines and wearing masks. Over time, these safety measures can become much more than “annoyances” and start to negatively affect our mental health. If you’ve been feeling particularly anxious, overwhelmed, or down, please read on for some helpful coping strategies. But first, let’s discuss why mask-wearing can be particularly tough on our mental wellbeing.

    The Impact of Mask-Wearing on Mental Health

    There are many reasons why mask-wearing can feel difficult.  From an evolutionary perspective, being able to see and analyze facial expressions has evident survival value. We are programmed to notice facial features and evaluate (often in a split-second) everything from attractiveness to mood to intent. So when half our faces are covered, this makes “reading” people more difficult and, therefore, can increase our uncertainty and anxiety. After many months of interacting with people wearing masks, it can even start to feel dehumanizing.

    In addition, covering the nose and mouth with a mask can interfere with normal breathing patterns.  For those who suffer from panic attacks, not being able to breathe properly can heighten anxiety even more.  Wearing a mask can also inspire feelings of claustrophobia or trigger sensory overload from the materials constantly rubbing against the skin.  And at a very basic level, masks are a visual reminder of the virus and that danger is lurking everywhere. This is scary stuff! 

    To make matters worse, we don’t have access to all of our usual comforts, such as going to a movie, working out at the gym, or meeting a friend for coffee (and a big hug!). Because of this, we may end up relying on other, less healthy ways to cope with the heavy emotions we’re experiencing. So how can we ensure that we’re implementing healthy coping strategies?

    Before I address that, I want to stress that my intention is not to make anyone feel ashamed about how they are currently coping. Most of us have never experienced anything like this before so we may be struggling to know what to do to make ourselves feel better.  That’s okay.  My intention is simply to encourage us to be more mindful about how we’re practicing self-care to ensure our practices are truly making us feel better.

    So…healthy versus less healthy coping strategies. What’s the difference?

    Stack of colorful, handmade cloth face masks

    Healthy vs. Less Healthy Coping

    Healthy and less healthy coping mechanisms can look very similar on the surface. It really comes down to the intention behind the action and how it ultimately affects your wellbeing.  So, ask yourself, why am I doing this and how does it really make me feel?

    Healthy coping strategies make you feel relaxed, happy, and good about yourself. You use the strategy intentionally and consciously to improve your mental and/or physical state.

    On the other hand, less healthy coping strategies often leave you feeling numb, unsatisfied, or even worse than you did before. Typically, you use these coping mechanisms without much intentionality or thought. You simply fall back on them and they leave you without any real relief or resolution.

    Let’s use food as an example.  Comfort food got its name for a reason.  It’s comforting!

    When used as a healthy coping mechanism, we intentionally choose a food that makes us feel truly nourished or genuinely comforted. We’re able to stop eating the food once we get that mood boost.  And we’re left feeling uplifted, satisfied, or even grateful.

    In contrast, if we’re using comfort food as an unhealthy coping mechanism, we’re typically eating it to numb our feelings.  When we do this, we usually don’t end up feeling better. We may get an immediate hit of pleasure from the food, but then we keep eating even after that mood boost has passed. We’re often left feeling frustrated, empty, or icky.

    Same comfort food.  But the intention behind eating it is different.  Thus, the outcome is different.

    So think about some of the ways you’ve been trying to cope with the fear, stress, uncertainty, and boredom that accompanies social isolation and mask-wearing.  Are you binge watching Netflix shows?  Drinking a lot of alcohol?  Spending hours watching the news or scrolling through social media? 

    Take a moment to think about why you are doing these things and how they truly make you feel.  If they genuinely make you feel comforted and happier, that’s great.  But if they make you feel numb, lethargic, or restless, perhaps it’s time to reconsider your go-to stress-relievers.

    Young woman wearing a grey sweater and a disposable mask over her nose and mouth.

    Healthy Coping Strategies for Mask-Wearing

    Here are suggestions for healthy strategies to cope with mask-wearing and other stressors:

    • Take in the fresh air before and after wearing a mask. Prioritize setting aside a few minutes to go somewhere outside, away from others, where you can take off your mask and just breathe. If you cannot get outside, find a place away from people (the bathroom, perhaps?) where you can take off your mask and breathe normally. This would be a great time to practice a breathing exercise, such as box breathing or 4-7-8 breathing.
    • Experiment with different mask styles. If the mask you have is especially uncomfortable, try different fabrics or different ways to secure the mask (e.g. around the ears, tied behind your head, etc.).  Also, make or buy masks that reflect something about who you are or what you like. This can make the mask feel a little more fun and communicate something about your personality to others.
    • If you start to feel your anxiety rise, try a grounding exercise. For example, pay close attention to your non-human surroundings such as billboards or other advertisements, scents from a coffee or sandwich shop, the sound of cars driving by, the feel of the grass or a park bench against your skin. There are many grounding techniques you can try. Experiment with them and find one that works for you.
    • Try to distract yourself in ways that are both calming and engaging. Creating something is one of the best ways to accomplish this – write, draw, sing, paint, knit, journal, arrange flowers, decoupage, color in a coloring book…There are an abundance of options. Not feeling creative? Try listening to a guided meditation or ASMR video on YouTube.
    • Share your feelings with people you trust. You might not be able to have an intimate face-to-face conversation with your best friend, but you can talk over the phone, Zoom, FaceTime, text message, etc. It’s definitely not the same, but it still helps to talk to someone who cares about you and will listen to your concerns.
    • If you choose to socialize in person, it’s important to still avoid venues where people are closely gathered such as bars and clubs. Choose outdoor activities if possible which will allow you to maintain space between you, such as having a few friends over for a backyard fire pit, going for a walk or hike, or playing frisbee in the park. Being outdoors is not only slightly safer but it can be a mood boost all on its own.
    • Try new strategies to make or maintain friendships. For those of you in school, if you’re having a tough time connecting with others and forming relationships, Sarah Pennington from Segue to College offers wonderful advice about making friends during COVID-19.
    • Experiment with different ways to connect with people. Try using your voice, eyes, gestures, and body language to compensate for what you aren’t able to show through other facial expressions. We can still be pleasant and offer acknowledgement to one another despite our masks. If you’re finding it difficult to communicate with people while wearing a mask and that is causing you frustration or anxiety, check out these fantastic tips from Katie Azevedo of School Habits.
    • Interested in more coping strategies? Check out my post Self-Care for Tough Times.

    Once again, I want to stress that it’s important to recognize that coping strategies and habits are not inherently good or bad, right or wrong.  It’s all about the intention behind them and how they make you feel.  What works for one person will not work for another.

    This is not the time to feel guilty about the coping strategies you are using.  My goal is simply to encourage us to be more mindful about how we’re practicing self-care and to ensure those practices are helping us to feel healthier and happier both in the moment and in the long run.  We need to take care of ourselves now more than ever.

    Ginny Maril, a psychologist at The University of Texas at Austin Counseling and Mental Health Center, offers this analogy:

    “Pretend you’re driving down the road. Your check engine light comes on. You’re given a choice: You can stop and call for help. You could drive to the nearest mechanic. You can also just ignore it and keep on driving. If we ignore the light, chances are the consequences are going to be much worse than if we just pulled over or got our oil changed. Same thing goes for us as people.”

    Simply put, self-care is essential during times like these. So as you reflect on your own coping strategies, ask yourself, why am I doing this and how does it really make me feel? If something doesn’t genuinely make you feel better, try a different technique.  And please remind yourself that while wearing a mask can be uncomfortable, it helps to keep you safe and is also an act of compassion for others.

    This post is part of a 4-part series about navigating various aspects of school during the time of COVID-19. Check out the other resources in this series:

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  • Self-Care for Tough Times

    Young woman sitting on floor, against a wall, with her head in her hands. Self-care for tough times.

    It’s that classic Catch-22 situation: when we’re going through particularly difficult experiences, we often don’t have the time or energy to practice self-care. But this is when we need self-care the most.

    So I’d like to share a few simple self-care strategies that don’t require a lot of time and you can practice by yourself, starting with basic needs you may be neglecting.

    Drink water.  When we’re upset, we may be crying, feeling nauseous, or have a lack of appetite.  We’re not likely motivated to drink water when we feel this way, but being dehydrated can actually have a negative impact on mood.  If you’re not a fan of plain ice water, hot tea is a wonderful, soothing alternative.  In addition to providing hydration, drinking tea is a slow, calm activity that can relax both the mind and body.  Chamomile, passionflower, lemon balm, peppermint, and ashwaganda teas are all good choices.

    Self-care for tough times. Close up pouring water from the bottle into a clear glass.

    Breathe.  When we feel anxious or overwhelmed, our breathing may become rapid and shallow.  This may lead us to feel even more stressed, even panicked.  Try taking very slow, deliberate breaths using your diaphragm.  When you breathe deeply, your belly should expand on the inhale and collapse on the exhale. Inhale for the count of 4.  Hold for the count of 6. Then breathe out for the count of 8 (counts, not seconds).  Deep breathing is easier when you’re relaxed, so try listening to a guided meditation or self-hypnosis on YouTube, such as those by Tara Brach.

    Sleep.  When we’re sad, we often want to remain under the covers, and that’s okay.  Honor your need to rest your mind and body.  To encourage sleep, try these techniques:  Wear or cover yourself in something that brings you comfort, such as a favorite T-shirt from an old friend or a blanket you’ve had since childhood.  Try to make your room as dark as possible and cool (65°F / 18.3°C). Sprinkle lavender essential oil on a tissue and place it inside your pillowcase.  Turn on some relaxing music, watch ASMR videos, or use a white noise app.

    Repeat a mantra.  While practicing deep breathing, try incorporating a mantra.  Mantras are repeated sounds or words used to focus the mind and imprint beneficial beliefs into the subconscious.  You are likely familiar with yogis repeating the mantra “Om” when they meditate.  The following mantra is one of my favorites when my heart aches or I’m feeling anxious and afraid:  “I am calm, strong, and centered.  I am able to let go of fear.  I am worthy of peace and tranquility.”  For those who feel frequently threatened due to being part of a marginalized group, letting go of fear may not sound possible.  Try this mantra instead: “I am present within myself.  I can center myself with the ease of my breath.  I feel grounded, worthy, and whole.”  While these mantras may not feel true to you in this moment, with repetition, they will plant the ideas in your subconscious mind, eventually encouraging greater peace. They also provide something concrete to concentrate on while practicing deep breathing, grounding us in the present.

    Take a shower or bath.  When we bathe mindfully, we cleanse our minds as well as our bodies.  Rather than hurrying through your shower, take time to simply stand under the stream and pay attention to the sensation of water trickling down your neck and back.  If you’re in the tub, move your hands or feet to create ripples and notice how the water feels lapping against your body.  Adding essential oils to your bath or shower can heighten your relaxation. For a shower, add a few drops of oil to a cloth and place it over the drain for a couple minutes while you breathe in the scent.  Lavender, rose, vetiver, marjoram, and ylang ylang are known for alleviating stress, anxiety, grief, and “hot” emotions like anger.

    Draw or Write. Research has found that creating visual art (such as drawing or painting) has a positive effect on cognitive function and mood.   It’s no wonder adult coloring books have become so popular — the act of coloring is meditative for many people.  If you’re not a fan of drawing or coloring, writing in a journal could offer cathartic release or a way to articulate your emotions.  No matter what you create, it’s important to create freely without judgement. Now is not the time to critique your skill or style.  Just enjoy the process of making something.

    Self-care for tough times. Closeup of woman sitting at table with coloring book, colored pencils, and a cup of hot tea.

    Go outside.  While it may be the last thing you want to do, exposing yourself to sunlight and nature offers an incredible mood-boost.  There are countless studies demonstrating the positive effects of walking in some kind of green space, such as a park or nature trail.  If being in public is not possible, do you have a patio, balcony, deck, or front stoop you could sit on?  Even opening your window to let in some sun can be beneficial.

    Feel.  Our brains are wired to avoid pain, so we often try to push it away or find ways to numb ourselves.  But denying our true feelings can exacerbate depression and lead to illness.  For the time-being, don’t judge your feelings, analyze them, or ignore them.  Feel them as they are.  This may cause you to experience a rush of overwhelming emotion and that’s okay. Practice deep breathing and remember that the more we are able to sit with our intense emotions, the more we are able to see our way through them.  When I’m struggling, I try to remember this: Despair is what happens when you fight sadness. Compassion is what happens when you embrace it.

    But if it becomes too much, reach out to a trusted loved one or consider seeking help from a licensed therapist.  There are also a variety of organizations that offer support over the phone, such as the Crisis Text Line.  If you’re not in crisis but still would like to talk to someone, try a “warm line.”  These are typically free, confidential peer-support services staffed by people who have experienced mental health conditions themselves. 

    I hope these suggestions encourage you to take care of yourself and those you love.  During tough times, we need to practice self-care even more.  It doesn’t have to take much time and doesn’t require any money.  Just take a moment to breathe deeply, repeat a mantra, hug someone, or watch the sun set.  Do something to bring yourself comfort because, as the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”

    Additional Resources:

    Disclaimer:

    Please note that I am not a medical doctor or a therapist. This post is designed for educational and/or informational purposes only and should not be used in any other manner. This information is not intended to substitute informed medical advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. A consultation with your healthcare professional is the proper method to address your health concerns. You are encouraged to consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition.

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  • The Best Stress Reliever You Haven’t Tried

    Young woman lying in the grass wearing headphones, reducing her stress by listening to ASMR videos.

    Tapping. Crinkling. Whispering. Scratching.

    Tingles. Shivers. Flutters. Quivers.

    Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of ASMR–and the best stress reliever you probably haven’t tried.

    What is ASMR?

    Autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR, is a physical and mental response to stimuli characterized by a tingling sensation that typically starts at the scalp and travels down the neck and spine. Some people describe it as mimicking “the chills” or goosebumps, while others say it feels like a mild (and comfortable) electric current.  Also known as a “brain massage” or “brain orgasm,” those who experience ASMR report it helps them reduce stress and feel more relaxed, sometimes even mildly euphoric. The stimuli that elicit ASMR, called triggers, are often quite mundane sights and sounds such as tapping a pen on a desk, turning magazine pages, crinkling tissue paper, or putting on latex gloves. 

    ASMR triggers are intensely personal–what may trigger me could repulse you.  Mouth sounds are probably one of the most “controversial” ASMR triggers. Some people delight in hearing another person sip on soup, chew gum, or slowly devour a chocolate covered caramel, while other people cringe at these sounds.  I tend to experience ASMR from whispered voices (especially those with accents), the sound of hair being brushed, and crinkling paper.

    What are ASMR videos like?

    Due to the number of potential triggers, and a rapidly growing audience, there are thousands of ASMR artists creating tingly content, mostly on YouTube (currently, there are over 5 million ASMR videos published to YouTube).  Some artists focus purely on sounds, often using a set of binaural microphones (like the ever-popular 3dio) that allow them to direct sounds into one ear at a time (which is why you should listen to ASMR videos with earbuds).  Depending on the proximity of the trigger sounds to the microphones, it can seem like they are standing to your left, right, or even behind you.  Artists like ASMR Magic use all sorts of ordinary and unusual tools to tap, scratch, rub, and brush across the microphones, such as makeup brushes, fluffy ear muffs, shaving cream, salt scrub, plastic wrap, and body oil. 

    Another popular type of ASMR trigger is personal attention. Often, these are role play videos where the ASMR artist acts as if you are in the room with them and they pay special attention to you, such as pretending to be a school nurse checking your scalp for lice, an ophthalmologist testing your vision, an aesthetician pampering you at a spa, or a hairdresser washing, trimming, and styling your hair.  Some artists produce incredibly creative role plays involving elaborate props and green screen recording software to help the viewer feel completely immersed in the experience, such as Goodnight Moon, TingTing ASMR, and Blue Whisper.

    Young woman relaxing in bed with her eyes closed, wearing earbuds, and listening to ASMR videos to reduce her stress.
    Image via Adobe Stock / Prostock-studio

    What is it like to experience ASMR?

    At this point, you may be thinking, “this sounds really bizarre to me.”  I had that reaction when I first encountered ASMR videos three years ago.  During a persistent bout of insomnia, I came across a video by Maria from GentleWhispering where she was speaking in a slow, soft voice, fluttering her fingers, and touching the camera lens. I thought, “what the heck is this weirdness???”  I proceeded to check out her YouTube channel and saw that she had one million subscribers (she’s nearing 2 million now) and figured I’d give her videos a chance since nothing else was helping me fall asleep. I watched another video in which she spoke to the camera as if we were face-to-face and she was gently running her fingers through my hair and telling me she understood the stress I was under and she was here to take care of me.  I actually cried. I know that sounds strange, but at that moment, I was sleep-deprived and depressed and Maria’s soothing voice and calming presence inspired such relief. Since then, I have watched hundreds of ASMR videos, creating playlists for a variety of occasions (such as videos that help me sleep, focus, and reduce stress).

    When explaining ASMR videos to people, I’m often met with perplexed expressions and comments about “New Age, hippie, weirdness.” I understand that reaction, but I’m definitely not alone in my love of ASMR as indicated by the dramatic increase in Google searches since 2012. Its popularity is definitely growing well beyond a niche trend.

    It’s important to note that some people do not experience ASMR and, thus, it’s difficult for them to understand (we currently do not know why some people experience the sensation while others don’t).  But, it’s possible you’ve experienced ASMR in your life without knowing what it was called. Think back to your childhood. Perhaps you were at a slumber party and a friend was brushing your hair.  Or maybe you were visiting the school nurse when you were sick and she was putting on latex gloves. Perhaps you were in the classroom and your teacher leaned over you to point out something in the textbook.  In these moments, you may have felt a static-like tingle at the base of your skull and it ran down your spine, making you shiver. That’s ASMR! Millions of people around the world experience this sensation but we still know very little about it.

    Can ASMR relieve stress?

    Since the term was coined less than a decade ago, empirical research is limited but is growing.  Early studies indicate that experiencing ASMR can have positive effects on our emotional and physical states.  For example, researchers from the University of Sheffield in the UK found that those who experience the phenomenon had significantly reduced heart rates while watching ASMR videos compared to people who do not experience ASMR.  They also showed significant increases in positive emotions including relaxation and feelings of social connection.

    Dr. Giulia Poerio, of the University of Sheffield’s Department of Psychology, said: “What’s interesting is that the average reductions in heart rate experienced by our ASMR participants was comparable to other research findings on the physiological effects of stress-reduction techniques such as music and mindfulness.”  We still need much more research on the topic, but small studies like this one along with the anecdotes of millions of people indicate ASMR can have a very positive impact on our well-being.

    The Science Behind ASMR

    Ready to give ASMR a try?

    Have I convinced you to check out an ASMR video yet?  If you’re still not sure, watch this video by Gibi ASMR in which she explains what ASMR is and includes snippets from dozens of artists so you can see the incredible variety.  When getting started, my advice is to watch videos from channels that have the most subscribers because they are popular for a reason — they tend to produce the highest-quality videos that feature crowd-pleasing triggers.  Channels to check out:

    Remember that the triggers that elicit ASMR are very individualized.  So you may have to watch numerous videos from a variety of artists in order to find what works for you.  The list above is just a tiny drop in the bucket when it comes to the ASMR channels out there. It’s also possible you don’t experience ASMR, no matter the trigger.  Don’t fret! Some people who don’t experience the tingly sensation still find ASMR videos relaxing, much like people find videos of Bob Ross, hand lettering, or nail painting to be soothing.  If ASMR videos don’t reduce your stress levels, that’s okay!  But find something that does. In our overcrowded, overburdened, overstimulated lives, we need to consistently set aside time to relax our minds and bodies.

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  • The 3 Best Journaling Techniques to Relieve Anxiety

    In an age where Millennials and Gen Z are often seen as smartphone-addicted zombies, good old-fashioned pen and paper may seem as archaic as starting a fire by rubbing two sticks together. However, for an anxious mind, writing can do wonders.  If you’re looking for relief from anxiety, stress, or other overwhelming emotions, give these three journaling techniques a try:

    Journal Prompts

    Studies have demonstrated the healing powers of journaling for those with mental illnesses. There are many different approaches that have significant de-stressing effects. For example, Bustle suggests prompted writing as a method to try and suggest a few ideas to get the ball rolling:

    • write out your emotions like a grocery list
    • write a letter to your anxiety
    • imagine your anxiety as a monster and write a story about it
    • interview your past and future selves: what would she say about her experiences with anxiety?
    • imagine your favorite fictional character has the same problems as you and figure out how they’d solve them
    • use colorful markers or pens and write out all the things that make you happy
    • start your journal with the phrase “I remember feeling…”

    Don’t worry about organization or editing.  Just write down everything that comes to mind in response to the prompts.  Writing about fictional characters, your future self, or an anxiety monster can provide distance from your feelings, which can help you calm down and ground yourself again.

    Image of an open notebook next to a mason jar of colorful markers with the headline The Three Best Journaling Techniques to Relieve Anxiety. The Peaceful Professor helps students and their families have a happier and healthier college experience.

    Free Writing

    An alternative to prompted writing is free writing. The moment you start to feel overly anxious or feel a panic attack coming on, write down all of your thoughts without judgement. First, write what is happening in your life that is causing you to panic. Next, record what you expect the outcome of the situation to be. And lastly, put down the best and worst-case scenarios. This exercise helps to put your stress into perspective because, oftentimes, the worst-case scenario is something that you can deal with and get through. You are so much stronger than you think.

    Visual Journaling

    If writing is not as interesting to you, visual journaling has also been shown to decrease anxiety and stress levels. With this format, you focus on breathing and introspection as you draw the sources of your anxiety, creating a visual representation of your stress. Researchers at Eastern Virginia Medical School tested this method on medical students, who have some of the highest levels of anxiety and depression. Results indicate that this technique reduced anxiety and increased positivity in almost every participant. Like free writing, drawing makes your problems seem more controllable and helps to clear your mind. And for those who feel a tad lacking in creativity, there is also a calming effect to adult coloring books. Coloring not only reduces anxiety, but also increases mindfulness.

    The Power of Journaling

    As someone with anxiety and depression, I find that writing soothes my overactive mind. There is something extremely powerful about writing things down. For example, I like to make to-do lists and schedule out my month in advance. This may sound counterproductive to the anxious mind; however, tasks and to-dos seem much more manageable once they are on paper. As you are writing, you are suddenly in control of all of these things that had been floating around in your head that you just couldn’t grab onto before.

    When you have anxiety, it is so hard to let things go, and no issue truly seems small. Journaling is a way to take some control back. The pen is your power, and it is completely dependent upon you; once you write these thoughts down, you can more easily decide what is important and distinguish the uncontrollable from what you can truly do.

    Grace Benigni is a graduate of the College of Charleston. She is on a quest to find therapeutic ways to manage her anxiety that can realistically fit into her jam-packed schedule as a special events coordinator and actress.

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